A long awaited update...

I know that it has been ages and ages and ages since I've updated. APOLOGIES ALL AROUND!

I want to let you all know that I'm doing incredibly well. I'm happy, I'm really enjoying my job, I love and adore my friends in Calgary, and I've been biking everywhere.

And I'm committed to writing an update about what's been going on for me by the end of this week.

LOVE!

No looking back, no turning into salt...

Well, that locavore diet didn't work too well, did it? I think it fell victim to my excitement/lack of preparation whirlwind. Alas.

A good friend and wise woman sent me a note with a number of great questions, and it's taken me nearly a week to make time to sit with them. I've found that many things in my life fall victim to the "I'll do it when I can set aside a lot of time" feeling that I always have. As if there is a special light that Saturday mornings have, when I stand coffee in hand, ready to write letters, tackle unpacking or blogging. Something always happens, of course, to prevent the letters from being written, unpacking from tackled and so on. So, here we are on a Wednesday, no coffee, post-yoga. For the first time in an age an a half, I self motivated to follow more than 20 minutes of a power yoga flow. It wasn't pretty, but that of course isn't the point.

So, life is as this. I work four days a week, and have Saturday, Sunday and Monday off. I'm slowly growing to love this arrangement, because it gives me time to savour days, and to cram all the errands I need to do into a Monday, when stores and things are relatively empty. It has snowed twice, but both have since melted. Although it was -10C yesterday morning, (at 5:30am, wake up time for this working girl) it is now a balmy 7C at 8pm. It's always more biting in the morning, and I am budgeting a nice pair of long underwear out of my next paycheck (I have one, but I can't wear it 7 days a week, can I?)

It's six weeks since I moved, and it nearly seems forever ago. As I've told many people, once I actually had to gather my skirts and move, I was comfortable with the reality. I miss so many things about Chelan, most notably the easy community I found there. Calgary, as is true of most big cities, is spread out and full of many many people and many many coffee shops. Rather than one main one where you could hang out and get all the daily dish. And 'the usual, right?' coffee to boot. Maddy asked the following questions of me:
"Is this attitude and focus sustaining?" (the good attitude I forced myself to have and have grown into)
"Are you settling in, in a way that allows you to transition into a different kind of determination, the kind that isn't attached to something new?"

Perhaps I continue to ride the rosy honeymoon slopes of feeling like I just moved, but I've found that my attitude and focus toward finding new friends, new things to do (without committing myself to a thousand obligations at once, a new thing for me in my life) and new places to explore. I've found myself various adventures ranging from the ballet, an Emily Carr exhibit, interesting hole in the wall boutiques, work out buddies, concerts and more. I feel somewhat like I'm still searching to find the community that I will click with, but I feel certain that will come.

I know that I still am relatively attached to new things, because they keep being everywhere. I love having bike trails to zip around the city on, (especially downhill to downtown, and I admit that I do often take the train with my bike back up, it's a really big hill!) I feel somewhat like I'm still casting around to feel settled, or to have some kind of routing outside of work, but I think that it something that I can sit in until it arrives. Right?

So, wise woman extraordinaire, I hope that answers some of your questions, and perhaps raises more. Like all good answers.

"Safe and Sound" - Hawksley Workman

Alberta, Alberta... Where've you been so long?

So, I've been thinking some of what it will be really like to move back to Calgary. My hometown. Somewhere I haven't really lived in 10 years (well, nine years, but nearly a decade). I've spent some summers there and at Camp Chief Hector in those 9 years away, but really, it'll be the first time since junior high that I'm really back 'where I'm from'. And that thought is just really spinning my head around a little. In a good way. I've been thinking about all the things that have changed in me both inside and out since leaving. If I think about it some, I might dig up a photo from me aged 14 to put up in contrast.

I'll go think about that some more as I bike.

"Alberta" - Eric Clapton

Locavore Diet, Day 1

It's been an age and a bit since I was last here. But, I'm here to announce that I and one of my farm mates have decided to try to eat locally for all of August. We didn't do all the planning that we should have, but we're going to take it as we go.

I've set the following boundaries.
1. Everything must be from within 150 miles, roundtrip.
2. I should be able to list where everything I eat comes from.
3. Exceptions... Salt, coffee, olive oil. That's it.


So, if I drink I'll have to find myself some Twisp River Pub (Twisp, 56 miles) ale or else wine from our vineyards! If I snack, it should be on vegetables (Sunshine Organics, 1 mile) or fruit (Brownfield Orchard's, 7 miles).

So, food so far today:
Breakfast:
two eggs - Ephrata (146miles)
tomato - SFM (sunshine farm market) (1 mile)
fresh chevre - Sunshine (1 mile)
sliver of left over salmon (oops, forgot)


Lunch:
Emmer Salad (tomatoes, parsley, dill, basil, lettuce, all from SFM). Emmer from Bluebird Grain Farms (Twisp, 56 miles)
Emmer risotto (onions, garlic, SFM) Olive oil, vegetable broth (SFM), emmer, crottin goat cheese (Pine Stump Farm, 61 miles)
tomato confit (tomatoes, oregano, thyme, salt, olive oil)
iced coffee (coffee with soy, I decided I'd run through the stuff I have that will go bad in the fridge. Within reason. I'll give a bunch to Zac also)
roasted carrots and eggplant


(unless otherwise stated, assume all vegetables and herbs are from the Sunshine Farm)

Why I want to return to the gym...

From a dear friend, but one I totally agree with...

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.

I'm not neurotic, I just play one on TV...

I fell down some stairs today and smacked my lower back quite soundly. I now have a purple/blue bruise in a neat line across, with some very interesting colour fades.

It's final on the visa thing. I have to exit this country on October 1st. The current plan is to crash land into Vancouver or the surrounding area. Most likely just in town. I'll go from a tiny town to a huge one. Why ever not?

I feel a little like I've used up my brave headfirst dives into places unknown. When I first received news of my rejection, I was all ready to pack up and peace out to New Zealand, never to return. I've since re-evaluated, and I don't know if my heart can bear another move that might be cut short by visa issues. At least Canada can't kick me out (for now anyhow)

I've perused some housing co-ops in Vancouver, sent desperate emails to friends up north and am just gathering strength for a full on job search.

Thought for the Day... On hate

Just a short note... Updates have been severely lacking, but so has free time. I was knocked down for the count last weekend by spasming back muscles (who knew that ones back could be so painful). A combination of numerous hours of sleep, hot baths, ice, chiropractic work and better posture has me back in the functioning world. Thank goodness. Stress has been high, mostly because The Laramie Project (the play I've been producing/stage managing) opens tomorrow (Friday) and the market opens in two weeks.

Also:

"Hatred is dislike and antipathy inflamed to a high degree and inspired by beliefs which stimulate a set of other emotions in the hater, chief among them- fear, ignorance, jealousy, anger and disgust. But note that all these emotions, and especially the first three are about the hater; thus hating says more about the haters than what they hate".

"It shows weakness, for it's a crude emotion which turns fears and anxieties outward to fix them on someone else".

Here are two scenes from The Laramie Project for your viewing pleasure. This is from our dress rehearsal, so it's just how my audience will experience it. Note that the confession of Aaron McKinney (the second video) is rather intense and contains strong language. Just so you know...